Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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