I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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