Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
