You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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