I love black thongs
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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