thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
