everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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