Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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