She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
