Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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