please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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