Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
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Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
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So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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