I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
