the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
