new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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