Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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