I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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