you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
