It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
