i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
