This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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