it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
