do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
