i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
