make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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