Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is Oprah even human
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
