I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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