I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
