I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
