So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
