I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
