Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
