Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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