the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
