Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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