Nicole vs. Life
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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