all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
