3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
