When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
