gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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