eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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