just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize