you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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