I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
