Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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