i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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