I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize