i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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