The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
