Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
