I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
