I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
