im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
