Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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