this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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