Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
