someone threw a dead crab at me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
