I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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