they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
