you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
