wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
