Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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