I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
